Titus Read online

  "Is two hours okay?"

  Macy's heart sung. Two hours alone with this precious gift? She couldn't imagine a better way to spend her afternoon. "That's fine. Why don't I meet you in the gym in two hours?"

  Annis grinned. "Excellent. Thank you again, Macy."

  She lowered her head. "It is my honor to watch over your precious child. Thank you for bestowing this gift on me," she said in their native tongue.

  Annis smiled and bowed her head as well, then turned and left.

  Macy gazed down at the little bundle in her arms, tears welling in her eyes. This time, they came from perfect happiness and contentment.

  Chapter 8

  Titus woke a few hours later. He smelled the curdling dressing from his untouched salad and wondered what the time could be.

  Rolling over, he checked the clock on the other side of the room. Macy had moved it over there so he'd have to rise from the bed to turn off the alarm. It had almost become an unspoken game between them, one that made his blood pressure rise with irritation. She'd set the alarm so he'd get up in the mornings, and if he remembered, he'd turn it off before going to bed. It read four p.m.—almost time for dinner.

  It surprised him when his stomach rumbled at the thought of fresh food. He hadn't felt any real strong hunger pains in a long time.

  He switched on the light and placed his feet on the floor. Standing, he stretched, then made his way to the bathroom decorated in black marble accented with silver. After using the toilet and pulling his hair back into a ponytail, he grabbed a pair of shorts and his sneakers, trying not to think too hard about what he was going to do. If he did, there'd be an internal conversation he didn't want to have. No, right now, he just needed to go on autopilot.

  He grabbed the tray and pushed all thoughts of Macy aside. Her words still stung, and his guilt hung heavy on his soul.

  After riding the elevator up to the kitchen area, he dropped off the tray, threw away the food, then carefully put his dishes in the dishwasher. He walked over to the second elevator that would take him down to the gym.

  As he waited, he heard deep male voices rumbling down the hall, then laughter. Would he ever feel like laughing again?

  The doors split, and he stepped inside the elevator, riding it all the way down to the bottom floor.

  No music greeted him, and he pushed his way through the double doors and walked into the gym.

  He saw Macy out of the corner of his eye. She sat on the bench, holding a baby, and he had to assume in was Annis and Cohen's, but he couldn't think of its name. Hell, he couldn't even remember if they had a boy or a girl.

  Keeping his gaze forward, he watched Holly, Annis, and Alaina working with Nico. They followed his moves as he progressed through some martial arts combinations, all three of them sweating profusely.

  Blake, Rayner, Justice, Axel, and Roman sat on the weight benches talking and laughing, and all turned when they saw him coming.

  "Titus!" Justice called. "It's good to see you, my friend!"

  Justice stood and walked toward him, then engulfed him in a huge bear hug. Titus closed his eyes. He could feel the sincerity in his words.

  You have so many people here wanting to help you, but yet, you can't even seem to make an effort to help yourself.

  Justice had been the first one to aid him, and he couldn't recall ever thanking the male. As he stood in his embrace, his shame deepened.

  "It's good to see you as well, Justice," he said, stepping back.

  "You here for a workout?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, let's tell these males to shut the hell up and pump some iron, shall we?"

  He grinned and nodded, feeling Macy's stare burning his back.

  "You came down here to listen to more Billy Idol, didn't you?" Blake asked with a smile and a wink. "That fucker will suck you in every time."

  He didn't bother to answer as Roman patted him on the back. "Glad you came down, Titus."

  Rayner and Axel waved, and they broke off into groups of two. He had been paired off with Justice.

  "Let's hit it."

  Sighing, he remembered Macy's words. When was the last time you asked someone how they were doing, and really listened for an answer?

  He did care about how Justice fared, so he asked.

  "I'm great, Titus. Thanks for asking. I honestly can't remember a time when I have been happier. Holly and I are getting along really well. The parakeet, Griffin, drives me a bit crazy with all his chirping, but besides that ... yeah, we're really solid."

  He'd heard stories about Griffin, but hadn't bothered to venture out to Justice's place meet the little guy.

  As they went through some leg squats and lunges, he realized he knew bits and pieces of everyone's life. Noah was nervous about becoming a father. Liberty drove Jovan crazy with worry. He'd heard rumors of Roman's female conquests in downtown Phoenix when he wasn't patrolling. Chase had violent outbursts.

  Yes, he knew bits and pieces, but he never allowed himself to get to know anyone.

  "I'm sorry I haven't visited your apartment," he said after his hundredth squat, his legs on fire.

  "No sweat, man. I figure you'll get there one day—when you're ready."

  He glanced in the mirror. Macy stared at him. When he met her gaze, she held it for a moment, then looked away.

  A large ‘thump’ caught his attention, and he saw Holly on the ground, Alaina standing above her. Annis came up from behind and tried to pin Alaina, but she spun out of her grasp. The two exchanged a couple of kicks, then Nico stepped in and broke them up.

  "Those are some tough females," Justice said, shaking his head.

  "You must be happy that Holly is so proficient in fighting."

  He shrugged. "Sort of. She wants to go out on patrols, which I don't like at all."

  Titus winced. He agreed with Justice, but he'd never tell a female what she could and could not do.

  "But, I don't think I have a say in it. She's been spending a lot of time with Annis and Alaina these past couple of weeks, so all three of them are pretty determined to head to the front lines."

  Huh. He hadn't even realized that Holly and Justice had been in the silo. Perhaps if he actually got out of bed and up and around, he'd have known.

  Look around you! Look, and you will see that there is life, and if you weren't so pig-headed, you'd realize your good fortune!

  He glanced over at Macy again, who cooed at the baby. She held new life in her arms. Justice had started his life over again with Holly, but not without trials before reaching his happy place. As Nico wrapped his arms around Alaina from the back, he shut his eyes, worry crossing his face. If Titus were a betting man, he would guess that Nico's concern about Alaina's desire to go on patrols kept him up at night.

  Life.

  Yes, those living their lives with their own problems, concerns, and issues surrounded him.

  He walked over to Macy and sat down next to her. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself to give her an apology, something he’d always found hard to do.

  "I'm sorry."

  She glanced over at him, her gaze soft.

  "No, I should apologize. I don't know what came over me, Titus. You're in pain, and it is my job as a Healer to tend to you, not belittle you."

  He shook his head. "You didn't belittle me. You gave me a dose of reality."

  "I should have been more compassionate, Titus. You're an SR44 male without his mate. I can't begin to understand how you're feeling."

  Her words bit into him, and he grimaced as the excruciating pain twisted at his soul. However, she was right, and so was Hudson. He had to find a way to deal with it, to get through the days.

  He apparently didn't have it within him to commit suicide, so he'd have to start living, at least a little bit.

  "You did the right thing, Macy. Again, I apologize for my behavior this afternoon, and I hope we can be friends."

  She smiled at him. "Of course we can, Titus. I wouldn't want it any other way."


  He glanced down at the baby. "I take it that's Annis and Cohen's?"

  "Yes. Isn't he gorgeous?"

  The baby squirmed a bit as he stared up at him, and Titus wondered what color his eyes would be once the sun went down. Annis' true SR44 color was gold, and Cohen's a vibrant purple.

  "What's his name again?" he asked.

  "Michael. He was named after Saint Michael, the patron saint of battles."

  "Fitting, with both his parents being Warriors."

  "Yes."

  Annis came over, wiping down her body with a towel. "How's my little man?"

  "He's just perfect, Annis."

  Macy handed the bundle to his mother. "Please let me know if you need me to watch him again. I do enjoy it."

  Annis nodded. "Like I said, you have such a peaceful energy about you and you seem to be able to calm him so easily."

  Macy grinned. "It's my honor to do so."

  Annis turned to him. "How are you, Titus?"

  He glanced over at Macy, then around the gym at all the people living. He certainly didn't feel well, but he seemed to be in better spirits than an hour ago. "I'm getting by, Annis. Thank you for asking."

  Chapter 9

  Titus inhaled deeply before pushing open the door to the War Room. When Noah had renovated the silo, he'd knocked out a wall and made the space larger, then brought in a giant oak table after getting rid of the glass one. Everyone now had a chair to sit in during the meetings.

  The bank of computers still sat on the right and the large, white screen still hung from the far wall. The walls used to be glass, but Noah had changed that, as well. Now, they were made out of sheetrock, nails, and wood.

  All the Warriors milled about, all of them dressed for a night of patrols. Titus gazed around the room.

  Hudson glanced at him, surprise crossing his face. Roman followed his stare. Before he knew it, everyone had gone silent, and all gazes were upon him.

  "What's up, Titus?" Noah asked.

  "I ... I, uh, thought I would join you for patrols tonight."

  Noah walked over to him, his brow furrowed. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

  No, he wasn't certain about anything, but as much as he'd like to continue his sabbatical in his bed, Macy's words continued to play over and over in his mind. He had to at least try to get out from under the crushing weight of Simon's death.

  "If it's okay with you, I'd like to go."

  "He can roll with Roman and me," Hudson said, stepping up next to Noah.

  Noah still studied him. "I don't know, Titus. I don't think it's a good time for you to be out on patrol."

  "He'll be fine," Hudson interjected with a grin.

  He had far more faith in Titus than he had in himself.

  "The male has a tongue and lips, Hudson. Let him speak for himself," Noah said.

  Hudson pulled Noah aside. Sweat formed on Titus’ brow and his stomach twisted as everyone glanced over at him and the hum of conversation picked up again. Most likely, they spoke of him.

  What if Noah didn’t let him go? He’d leave the War Room in shame, but

  maybe he wasn't ready to patrol. The lives of those around him could be in danger out on the street. Did he have the mental fortitude to deal with it? Would he be more of a hindrance than help?

  Visions of Simon's brain matter blasting out the back of his head filled his mind.

  Noah approached him. "Okay. You're with Hudson and Roman. Hudson, you watch him."

  He nodded as Hudson stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I just went to bat for you. Don't let me down, man. I think you're solid and can perform just as well as anyone in here."

  It reassured him Hudson felt that way, but he really had his doubts.

  "Right now, you're probably uncertain. Get rid of the negative talk going through your head. You're strong physically—you just need to get your shit together mentally."

  Sometimes, that seemed to be the hardest thing to do.

  Noah announced they'd be leaving in a half-hour and told everyone to sit down.

  He fully expected to be standing against the back wall while everyone took a seat, but then he noticed an open chair.

  "Sit down, Rapunzel," Rayner said, pointing to the chair.

  "We figured you’d come around sooner or later," Roman chimed in.

  His nervousness increased, and he wiped his arm across his forehead to hide it. What if he let all these people down?

  He took his seat and turned his attention to Noah. As he studied the map on the screen, he listened for his name as Noah read off the quadrants and who would be patrolling each one.

  "And Titus will be going with Hudson and Roman," he finished.

  Everyone glanced his way, but he kept his gaze trained on the screen. He didn't want to see the doubt he’d most likely witness in their eyes.

  "Anyone have any questions?" Noah asked.

  Titus looked down at his hands in his lap. The stares seared him, and he didn't know where he stood with most of the males in the room, as he hadn't bothered to talk to most of them in months. And those he had spoken to, it hadn’t exactly been stimulating conversation.

  "All right, then," Noah continued. "Saddle up, ladies. Be safe, but let's try to make this a productive night, okay? Our main mission is to either lay eyes on Daniel, or find one of his fucked up followers and get information on where he might be."

  Titus stood and filed out of the War Room. When in the hallway, Hudson grabbed one arm and Roman clutched the other.

  "Come on to my quarters, Titus," Hudson said. "If you're hanging with me tonight, I want to make sure you've got more weapons than an army and that you know how to use them."

  He allowed the two males to steer him toward the main elevator. "I'm very proficient with weapons. My military training and Micah made sure of it."

  They stepped into the elevator, and Hudson sighed as he let go of his arm. "I know. That both comforts me and scares the ever-living crap out of me."

  He watched the numbers drop until they landed on Hudson's floor.

  "I have no intention of hurting you or anyone else in this silo. If I wanted to, I would have already."

  "Are you kidding me? You’ve barely been out of bed," Roman teased.

  Titus rolled his eyes, not bothering to say anything. It had become apparent that most in the silo thought of him as weak, but really, what did he expect? He hadn't exactly been social, and he'd only come out of his quarters when threatened or coerced. He couldn't blame any of them, and he'd feel the same if the roles had been reversed.

  The elevator doors opened, and they heard ear-shattering screaming, followed by crying, startling all three of them. Hudson pushed his way past him and went into his quarters.

  Titus glanced at Roman to see if they should enter or not, and Roman followed Hudson in.

  "He's upset he's got to take a bath," Beverly said to Hudson.

  Hudson kneeled down in front of his son, Killian, and smiled. "You have to get wet, big man."

  "No, Daddy. I don't want to."

  Titus furrowed his brow, trying to think if he knew how old Killian was, and realized he didn't. Heck, he didn't think he'd ever spoken to the little guy.

  As if on cue, Killian trained his gaze on him.

  "What's he doing here, Daddy? Is he feeling better?"

  Titus winced. What had everyone told the kids about him? He'd never given it any thought, until now.

  "I think he is."

  "You said he was really sick," Killian said as he stared at him, his eyes glowing yellow.

  "He was."

  "And he's better now?"

  Hudson nodded. "But let's get back to the original issue, Killian. You need to get in the bath and quit arguing with your mom."

  "Okay, Daddy."

  Hudson stood and kissed Beverly. She waved at them, and then took her son's hand and went to the bathroom.

  When the door shut, Hudson sighed.

  "What's up?" Roman asked.
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br />   "I never thought I could love someone so much, yet have that person drive me so damn crazy."

  "Are you referring to Beverly or Killian?" Roman asked.

  Hudson grinned. "Killian, you dick. Let's get you suited up, Titus."

  The thought of having children made his mind spin. He and Simon had never discussed such things as it was physically impossible, and he'd never put much consideration into the task of caring for someone so helpless, taking care of their every need.

  Isn't that what Macy has done for you?

  Crap. He'd been acting like a child. Yes, Macy had taken care of everything, from making sure he had been fed, to ... to making sure he bathed.

  He cringed.

  "You okay, man?" Roman asked, laying a hand on his shoulder.

  He had better move into the 'okay' zone fast, because although the pain radiated throughout him relentlessly, he would not act, nor be treated, as a child any longer.

  Taking a deep breath, he nodded. "Yes."

  Fifteen minutes later, Titus rode the elevator up to the kitchen flanked by Hudson and Roman.

  The doors opened, and everyone except Beverly and Killian stood around waiting to wish the Warriors good luck with their mission that night.

  Blake walked up to him and handed him a cell phone. “It’s ready to go, just turn it on. All our numbers have been programmed in.”

  He nodded and looked around. Frankly, most of females seemed more interested in Annis' baby than they did in their mates. Abby rubbed her hand over her swollen belly as she cooed at Michael, and Faith and Liberty laughed and giggled as they touched his little toes and fingers.

  Holly and Alaina stood back, both dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, and both looking very upset.

  "They want to patrol with us," Roman whispered, following his gaze. "But Justice and Nico have said no."

  He'd watched them in the gym a bit earlier, and they each seemed more than capable of handling themselves, yet he understood Justice and Nico's behavior. He used to worry sick about Simon when he wasn't with him, especially when it involved something dangerous, like actively seeking out a Colonist and the offspring that followed him.

  "I guarantee you they won't be getting laid tonight," Roman continued.