Finding My Faith Read online

  Finding My Faith

  By Carly Fall at Smashwords

  © 2012 Carly Fall

  All Rights Reserved

  Praises for Carly Fall

  "Your narrative voice is so strong and unique, raw and honest..."

  "Shackled to the Night was a great introduction to the "dark side!" It was very hard to put away, I look forward to more of Carly's work."

  "This was a great story. It's very well written. The author has a great writing style that is easy to follow & pulls you in. If you enjoy steamy, dark novels, you'll enjoy this book."

  "I LOVED this book! I can tell this is going to be another great series in the paranormal romance genre. I can't wait to read the next in the series, which I am going to guess has to be about Aiden. Hurry up and write, Carly!"

  "That book was absolutely wonderful! I gave it 5 stars. When will the series continue? Oh PLEASE don’t make me wait too long!"

  "I love that you have this ability to take the reader on a journey with your characters, and there’s no stopping the fact that you fully engage the reader in every point."

  "Your writing is so poignant, funny, realistic..."

  "This gripping, and often sexy, story leaves the reader wanting more…

  Chapter 1

  “What the hell is taking so long?”

  Rayner hated waiting almost as much as he hated flying. Combine the two together, and he was not a pleasant person to be around. He and his two friends, Hudson and Cohen, stood side by side in the airport staring out the glass at the plane they were already supposed to be on, giving off a "how much is that doggy in the window" vibe. They watched as a mechanic and a pilot walked around the small, private plane discussing who knows what. Rayner hoped they were discussing things like properly working engines and wheels that would appear upon landing instead of something like baseball scores.

  He looked over Hudson and Cohen. Hudson's big arms were crossed over his chest, and he was dressed in some expensive suit with a fancy Italian name that Rayner couldn't pronounce. With Hudson's black hair in a ponytail down his back, the guy looked like he was posing for a picture that would land him in GQ, except his body measurements qualified him for a spread in some body building or wrestling magazine. He stood about six foot five and weighed around two sixty, give or take ten or fifteen pounds. Most likely on the give side. Hudson didn't say anything, just kept staring out the window at the plane they were waiting to board.

  “Better to be safe, and all that,” Cohen said quietly as he pushed his dark mop of hair off his forehead. He was big like Hudson, but didn't have the fashion thing going on. He wore a pair of jeans with a t-shirt under his knee-length leather coat. Cohen had a habit of throwing out cliché sayings, but never finishing the last half of them. It used to drive Rayner crazy, but now he just accepted it.

  Rayner sighed and caught his own reflection in the window. As with Cohen and Hudson, his reflection showed a male somewhere around thirty, give or take a few years. He was just as big as his two friends, but his hair was a light blond that fell to his chin. He wasn't much into the clothes either, but he had managed a pair of black slacks with a black silk t-shirt. Gold hoops hung from each of his ears. He wasn't sure if he liked them or not. The same went for the gold hoops through his nipples. He had been on the losing end of a football bet with Cohen three months ago, and the loser had to pierce their ear and one nipple. Rayner had decided to double tap it on each.

  He stared at his tanned skin, his high cheekbones, his full mouth, his black-and-gray eyes. He had been in this body for a long time, and it was weird to think that there was more to him than what stared back at him.

  “Okay, gentlemen, they're ready for us.” All three turned to see the very pretty flight attendant who would be serving them on their trip from Reno, Nevada to Phoenix, Arizona. She was about twenty-five, short, thin, and had her hair pulled back into a ponytail that fell to her lower back. Her crisp, light-blue suit matched her eyes and was emblazed with the logo of the company from where they were renting the jet. Her nametag read “Suzette,” and her smile was almost blinding.

  “Thank you, Suzette,” Hudson rumbled, stepping in front of Rayner and offering his arm to her. “May I escort you down?”

  She giggled and took his arm.

  Rayner looked at Cohen, who simply rolled his eyes. Rayner wondered if today's flight would be Suzette's first inauguration into the mile high club. He kind of doubted it.

  As they crossed the tarmac toward the sleek, white LearJet 45, Rayner took some deep breaths. It wasn't that he was afraid of flying, it just wasn't natural. And things that weren't natural made him…okay, maybe he was afraid to fly. But hurtling yourself through space in a tin can that you couldn't even fully stand up in wasn't right. He climbed the steps, bent his head down to enter the plane, and planted his ass in the first light brown leather seat. He reminded himself that the plane ride was only an hour and a half.

  Cohen plopped down in the seat across the aisle, while Hudson moved to a seat in back—the one by the bathroom.

  Easy access for him and Suzette, Rayner thought.

  “Can I get you guys anything to drink before we take off?” Suzette asked.

  Rayner thought about it a moment and nodded. “Three shots of Tequila. Whatever you have as long as it's the good stuff.”

  Suzette nodded and looked at Cohen. “Same. Except make mine whiskey.”

  Apparently Cohen had no intentions of being awake for the flight either.

  Suzette then looked at the back of the plane, smiled, and sashayed back to Hudson. They spoke in low tones, and Rayner heard her giggle.

  Yep, he could see this one coming a mile away.

  A couple minutes later, three shot glasses were lined up in front of him along with a wedge of lime. He didn't bother with the lime until all three little glasses of liquid were empty. He felt the burn as they made their way into his gut, the numbing effect on his brain almost immediate.

  Perfect.

  Suzette stood in front of the three of them and told them what to do if the plane were to suddenly lose air pressure and start spiraling downward.

  Rayner pulled out his iPod from his jacket pocket and put the ear buds in. He closed his eyes and laid his head back on the soft, plush leather. You die, Suzette, he thought idly.

  He pushed play and was greeted by the sounds of Native American music and chants. He found the sounds soothing and relaxing. Hypnotic in a way. Rayner did not sleep, but hovered in that plane in between sleep and consciousness, aware of what was going on around him, but too relaxed to care.

  He didn't really understand his fear of flying. It was actually pretty ridiculous considering he had blasted through space for three months to get to Earth. That had been two hundred and eleven years ago, and the decision to get on that ship might have been the biggest mistake of his life. Or maybe it was his decision to join the military of his planet, SR44, that took the title. He didn't know, and he didn't think about it. There was no sense in analyzing past mistakes. He didn't belong here on Earth, and he just longed to go home.

  And that was why he was being sent to Phoenix by Noah, the leader of their happy-happy little group of Warriors to investigate possible kidnappings by a Colonist. Besides Cohen, Hudson, Rayner and Noah, there was also Jovan and Talin. Talin kept everything on the technical side running with high efficiency, and Jovan had the ability to get a glimmer of a person’s emotions if he could physically touch them.

  Hudson had been chosen to head to Phoenix because he was a brutal, efficient killer. Cohen had been sent because he was a healer, and if Hudson or Rayner got hurt and needed medical attention, Cohen would be the one to take care of them. Rayner had been sent because he had volunteered to go. He was a workhorse. No
ah knew that of all the Warriors, he was the one who wanted to get the fuck out of dodge and head home as soon as possible, and he worked tirelessly to make that happen.

  Home. Jesus, he missed it.

  SR44 was light years away, and Rayner hadn't stepped foot on it since they’d landed on Earth two hundred and eleven years ago, twenty-six days, and some hours that he wasn’t counting. They’d been given the mission to locate and eradicate the evil from SR44, simply known as the Colonists.

  SR44 consisted of a lot of green forests, wildlife, and peace and calm. The temperature fluctuated between sixty-five and eighty. The beautiful time of twilight lasted for six hours of the day. As there wasn't a lot of landmass on SR44 (in fact, eighty percent of the planet was water). The population packed itself into dense areas filled with skyscrapers, which were colored, and sparkled like freshly buffed gold. The rest of the planet was made up of forests and water similar to Earth's oceans, except it was fresh water, not salt water. Those who didn’t live in the cities lived in the forest and were simply called Forest Dwellers. However, no matter where the people of SR44 made their home, they lived together in peace, which was so much different than Earth. Rayner often cringed on the rare occasion of watching the news and was left with one question: Why couldn’t the nations of Earth just get along?

  Rayner and his family were Forest Dwellers. They lived in the forest and survived off the land, sharing their habitat with the animals of SR44. They made their homes in the blue treetops of the forest, some three hundred feet off the ground in order to avoid the carnivorous animals on the forest floor that looked similar to the small dinosaurs of Earth. They were spiritual people, reminding him of the Native Americans on Earth. The Forest Dwellers believed that a spirit inhabited every living thing, and every living thing was to be respected and revered. They worshipped the spirits who provided them with their food, and prayed to the gods and spirits who provided water. They rarely interacted with those who lived in the cities of gold, opting to stay true to their way of simple life.

  Rayner had lived with his mother and father, his brother, as well as a slew of extended family. Mealtime was down on the forest floor, and rarely was there anything less than twenty people gathered. They took turns standing ready to fend off the forest floor carnivores.

  The people of SR44 were similar to the people of Earth in many ways, yet vastly different. Their bodies consisted of nothing but wisps of colored smoke that made up a long, lean form similar to a human form with arms and legs, as well as a head. They were capable of making their hands somewhat corporeal so that they could hold onto their weapons, which the Forest Dwellers only used to fight off the carnivores. However, unlike the human form, their body mass continuously moved and swirled, similar to watching a fire dance in a fireplace. Each member of the SR44 population was a different color, some lighter or darker than others. Rayner’s SR44 color had been a fiery red, and each night when he looked in the mirror, he was reminded of his SR44 form. When the sun went down, his eyes glowed the color of his SR44 form, as did the other Warriors. When all of the Warriors were all together after sunset, it was a pretty amazing sight that reminded Rayner of colored Easter eggs. Hudson’s eyes burned a bright yellow, while Cohen’s were a dark purple. Noah’s lit up to orange, Talin’s a piercing blue, and Jovan’s and emerald green.

  Yep, a bunch of big guys who looked like they all had a different colored flashlight shoved up their asses.

  Needless to say, they avoided the night, doing most of their work during the day. Talin had developed contact lenses that they could wear during the evening hours, but they were so uncomfortable and most of the Warriors avoided wearing them at all costs.

  The animals in the forest of SR44 were carnivorous, but in a different sense than carnivorous animals on Earth. Instead of chomping on their prey, the animals simply inhaled them because of their smoky form. It wasn't a pretty sight to watch one of the Forest Dwellers die in this fashion.

  To the dismay of his family, Rayner had longed to explore outside the forest, to see what the rest of SR44 was like. He had loved his life in the forest, but he needed to experience new things, to see new sights, to...live. He remembered the conversation with his parents where they had finally relented and told him to go and explore.

  “But you must come back to me, son,” his mother, or moha, had said, her royal blue color swirling in front of him. She reached out and grabbed his hand.

  “Of course, my moha,” he had vowed.

  He had taken off the next day for the big, bright cities. It was there he had let loose. Humans had a saying—party like a rock star—and that was what he had done.

  While learning the ins and outs of city life, he had met Cohen. Cohen convinced him to join the SR44 equivalent of the military. That way he could travel the planet and see everything, as well as train to become a certified “bad ass.”

  “C'mon, man! First day is tomorrow. We're going to see our world, and maybe some others! It'll be a blast.”

  Rayner had met Cohen the next morning, signed up for the military, and began his training. He found that he liked the physical training, and he also liked the other males he’d met, Noah and Hudson being among them. Rayner became very close with Cohen not only because he liked the guy, but because both of them were different from the others. Cohen had the ability to heal others of their race, while Rayner had inherited the ability to see spirits of those who were caught between life and death, or what he called the “ether.”

  Rayner considered Cohen’s ability a beautiful gift. Cohen was able to take his own energy, merge it with the energy of the person who needed the healing, and the two working together were able to repair wounds, heal sickness and restore health.

  Rayner didn't really consider his ability a positive thing—more of a curse. Maybe something like a sixth toe that put him off balance, and he would rather ignore and pretend it didn't exist. He used to try to help the spirits he saw—which were few and far between—all who were not ready to go to their final resting place, and he had failed every time, except once. There were three conditions that his Gomada—his Grandmother—had taught him. First, the spirit must be near their body. Second, they needed to be near someone who loved them, and third, that person needed to love them back just as fiercely. Rarely had Rayner seen these three conditions met. He didn't know why, but spirits were really good at losing the body they belonged in. And he found that there were very few cases where two people loved each other equally, or enough, to bring the spirit back to the land of the living.

  When he had graduated into the Battle Squad, he had been front and center for the epic three-day party Noah's father had thrown for them. His family had even come out of the forest to witness his graduation and celebrate his accomplishment with him.

  Then he was handpicked with five other warriors to right the wrongs of their planet, given the name of the Six Saviors. Unbeknownst to the authorities of SR44, some of the baddest of the bad criminals who lived on one of SR44's moon simply called the Colony, escaped. For the sake of simplicity, or lack of imagination, they were called the Colonists. The Colonists consisted of twelve murders who had made their way to Earth. Upon arrival, they had somehow taken human bodies, mated with human females, and began wreaking the holy hell of havoc on the population. Some of the more notorious serial killers of human history were actually Colonists. Jack the Ripper? Yes. Jeffrey Dahmer? Yup. Saddam Hussein? Charles Manson? Yes. Hell, yes. All the worst sort of evil that had ever been unleashed on SR44 or Earth. The people of SR44 were peaceful, prideful, and ashamed of their living garbage. They were intent on cleaning up the mess that had been unintentionally let loose on Earth.

  It was made clear that the Warriors would not be returning until the Colonists were eradicated.

  He remembered when he had made the decision to get on the ship and go after the Colonists. His Moha, his mother, had wept.

  “Be safe, Rayner. Let the spirits guide you. Don't lose touch with who you are in here.”
His mother had then touched his chest. “And you must come back to me.”

  He had nodded solemnly and made his vow to his mother. He would not lose touch with who he was, but honestly, after living on Earth for two hundred and eleven years, he was doing a very fine job of it. He no longer felt full of life as he used to. He felt as though he were closer to an empty box leftover after Christmas. And as for the vow of him returning to his mother? He hadn't broken it, because God knew that each and every day he worked hard to keep it. It was just taking a little longer than expected.

  Okay, a lot longer.

  He and the others who made up the Six Saviors had been given large, warrior, human bodies, which they had learned to use on the trip to Earth. Good thing it was a long trip because the learning curve from going from wisps of smoke to huge slabs of meat had been a bit challenging.

  Once they had landed, they immediately began their hunt for the Colonists. They had assumed the job would be easy—a quick in and out. Man, had they been wrong about that one. Those fucking Colonists had outsmarted them. They had also taken on human bodies and began mating with human women. So now, instead of hunting and destroying just the original twelve Colonists, they also needed to check up on their offspring and see if they had enough evil Colonist DNA in them. Some did, some didn't. If they did, they too needed to be stopped.

  It seemed like a never-ending mission, but Rayner wouldn't allow himself to think that way. He would live to be around two thousand years old, so he had another eight hundred and some odd years to get it done and get home.

  Until then, he would put one foot in front of other and continue to be the workhorse of the group, always focused, always looking for the next Colonist.

  He sighed and leaned back in his seat. The plane was taking off, and within seconds the ground disappeared below him.